The words to tell you how I feel about passing my drivers test this morning are all inside me. Pushing around my stomach, they are desperately seeking a way out. As soon as my fingers begin to fly over the keyboard though, they die. Beautiful, descriptive words of freedom, liberation, independence, wonder, joy, pride, and much more just float off in the breeze created by my man. What was I going to say? The question ping pongs around in my mind as I stare blankly at the screen.
Oh well, it doesn’t matter. The words mean nothing, the feelings are important, and they don’t need to be written down. I am certain the moment my examiner said “pass” will remain in my mind forever. Tears welled up and threatened to ruin the makeup I don so rarely. It was beautiful. A once in a lifetime experience.
Much sweeter at 24, after years of relying on others, waiting for rides, asking permission to go somewhere… than it could have been at 16. The fact that I can legally buckle up and drive off without a worry, it has yet to sink in. My leg is bouncing in anticipation of driving to my interviews, to the store, to the lake, or better yet… just because.
Before I conclude this post, I want to say thank you to every person who ever trusted me behind the wheel. For many years I thought my ADHD would keep me from driving. I am so distractible, so easy to lose focus, my depth perception is wonky, as is my spatiality…Dad, Rodney (FIL), Karen (MIL), Becky, Rebecca, Chris… thank you.
And most importantly… Bill, my stepfather. I told you I love you yesterday for the first time, or was it the day before? It was strange experience, but when I called you today to share my news, I said it again… and it was good. You didn’t yell, you didn’t complain, you were patient, you gave me confidence, taught me tricks… and while I most likely spent more time driving with Chris than you, it was you who taught me I could do this - just like a good Dad would, and right now… I’m happy to consider you a part of the family.
Much love.
