Dear Daddy,

Lately I have been thinking about you a lot, writing about you a lot, talking about you a lot too…and tonight, I needed to say more. Do you know you’re going to be a grandpa? Surprise! It’s not mine, not yet… Nicole is pregnant, and… so is Becky. Wow, huh? I was shocked she told me before Mom…or you. There was that second, when I almost asked, “What do you think Dad will say?”…

Ooops. Those moments are few and far between anymore. It’s almost impossible not to forget you’re gone. As much as I’d like to pretend that you’re here, I can’t anymore. Life is changing so rapidly around me, and there’s no way to imagine you’re present for it. Everyone told me life would go on, and I’d be happy… and I didn’t believe them. And then I felt happy, and guilty… because you weren’t sharing it with me.

But you are, aren’t you? I know you’re home now, free, doing what you always wanted…and so as these new little parts of you grow in your daughters, I feel happy, and guilt free. It’s a good feeling.

I love you. Always,

Rachie