I started this blog on March 31st 2004, at the request of my friends. On April 1st, I was leaving home for college at the age of almost 20 (because that almost was so important). It wasn’t my first foray into the world. I missed blogging about dropping out of high school to go to Job Corps. I never told about my days as a preacher’s daughter - poor as a church mouse, and constantly struggling to be the example.
There are no stories about the first time I snuck out, and the time I got drunk in the middle of the day. Before I started this blog, I had met the man I thought was the love of my life, moved back home 3 times, and had been doing my best to assure the world that I knew everything. There are days when I wish I’d had a blog back then, many moments I wish I had recorded via the keyboard. It would be amusing to go back and look through all that.
Instead, I waited until I was on my way to The Art Institute of Seattle; where I didn’t last three quarters. This blog follows me from skipping class, getting high with my high school crush and best friends, falling in love (again), falling out of love…and realizing there was no place in the world like Seattle. I still feel that way. Once again, I moved back home, out, home, out, home. I tried college again, without success, but a lot less school loans. I saw my first dead person when I trained as a nursing aide, and cried my eyes out in my Mom’s lap. I also worked as a Bell Ringer, Deli-Clerk, Freelance Graphic Designer, Courtesy Clerk, and Customer Care Representative… and most importantly, as a home-maker for my parent(s) and sister.
Posts were sporadic and often an attempt to sound more grown up and mature. Some posts were made on different domains and journal sites… I did what I could to bring them all over here when I finally decided to keep ‘All She Is’ for good. I’d like to say you can look back in my archives and find wisdom and kernels of life altering truth. I’d be lying.
This blog is just about me. It follows me from my time as a hopeful freshman in a way, to expensive college, to a confused semi-adult trying to make my way in states I had no business being in. The pages here have seen me living in Washington, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Missouri, Oregon, and now once again in Washington. I’ve traveled by bus, train, plane, car, and U-Haul around the country and back. My feet itch to wander, and it’s amazing a week goes by without me dreaming about moving.
If you read back, you may see a person desperately learning how to relate to people and make friends, a fumbling, grieving daughter when my father died in 2006; to the person I am now - a new bride still trying to figure life out. Wouldn’t it be nice to say I am smarter than the woman who first starting writing here in 2004? That too, wouldn’t be the complete truth. I’m still young, I’m still naïve and trusting, and I still have a long way to go on the road to being a grown up. I have though, in the course of writing here, learned more about myself and what I want from life.
I continue to write. Some days it’s about what I love to do… read, cook, play in Photoshop, spend time with family and friends, role-play, play Everquest2, edit Harry Potter podcasts, and keep house. At times it’s about the things that drive me nuts… and others, I write about what I’m still figuring out, like driving, new recipes, music, anger management, weight loss, tact…living with ADHD, Tourettes, and Celiac Disease. Others I write about my family, how much I still miss my Dad, dislike my step dad, and just don‘t get my husband. There are times when I bitch about petty things, and days when I still try to sound wise and grown up.
In the future, I hope to be writing here about returning to work, sooner rather than later. I’d also like to decide between nursing and nutrition, and go back to school. Maybe I’ll be talking about my kids, and buying a house. Hopefully the majority of it will be good, honest and real. It would also be nice if I could make it through 2008 posting every day.
I write about me, and my life. That means friends and family members may be featured here from time to time. Most of my immediate family is well aware of this blog, and occasionally read it as well. If you have stumbled here by chance though, I ask you to please let me know you’re reading. eagles02@gmail.com
